just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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