Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
