mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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