i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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