So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
