She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize