I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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