we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
