Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
