I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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