jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
