i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
