He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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