fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
