You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
