It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
