He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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