this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
