Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
