No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
