When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
