I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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