come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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