grandma shit on top of the toilet
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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