I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
