Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
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