and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
