just come out here and I will go home with you...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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