shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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