Betty ford says i'm here all night
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
