what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
