I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
