and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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