sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
