she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
