Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
