Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
