plz talk dirty to me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
