I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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