a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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