OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
