we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Randomize
