those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
