I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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