Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
