Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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