sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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