plz talk dirty to me
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm really into asian looking animals
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
