Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
