Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
