Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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